Fourth of the July is starting with a bang in 2012—you know, because fireworks are typically launched on that day. But after all the fireworks are done for the day, you can always go see The Amazing Spider-Man after! The greatly anticipated reboot from Sony Pictures has 500 Days of Summer director Marc Webb (which is probably the most appropriate name for this man ever, by the way) taking the reigns of the franchise over from original director Sam Raimi. The marketing keeps promising "The Untold Story" of Spider-Man, but I don't buy that for a second. Sure, there might be some deferences, but the story of Peter Parker's origins (bite by a spider, uncle murdered) will largely remain the same.
It's the stuff after Peter Parker suits up that interests me, though. Mary Jane, Peter's typical love interest, is not in this film. Instead, we have Gwen Stacy played by Emma Stone who, as you comic book fans know...well, things don't turn out well for Ms. Stacy. Thematically, I think she is much more interesting than Mary Jane. And Andrew Garfield, who's playing Peter Parker, has terrific chemistry with her. They showed a scene with the two at Comic Con, and it was perfect. In fact, almost everything they showed at Comic Con proved that Webb and his team are really committed to adapting Spider-Man the right way. Now don't get me wrong; I love Sam Raimi's version of the character. But what I've seen so far promises something more fun and, if I had to describe it, more "comic book" in tone. Don't let the mediocre teaser trailer sway you; this Spider-Man looks, feels, and sounds more Spider- Man then ever before.
So after that incredibly long defense for The Amazing Spider-Man, I'm going to judge go right into another one; this time, I'll be defending Seth McFarlane. McFarlane is an incredibly and gifted entertainer, who has a fantastic ability to use his voice to great effect. That said, Family Guy, his most famous show, has been pretty terrible for the last five years. It's not funny and, sometimes, it verges on downright disgusting (and not in the good, humorous way). Because Family Guy has been so bad recently, I can't say I'm looking forward to McFarlane's directorial debut, Ted. Like I said, I think McFarlane's a very talented guy who could make the story of a raunchy talking teddy bear very funny. But McFarlane burned me, and I'm not sure if I trust him to deliver anymore. I still want to see the film out of curiosity, but I'm setting my expectations extremely low.
Still, my expectations are still higher for Ted then they are for Ice Age: Continental Drift. For that one, I have NO expectations. Ice Age: Continental Drift fits into the same sub category as Madagascar 3; they're outdated franchises running far too long starring a cast of characters who have grown to become really annoying. The first film was alright, the second was mediocre, and the third was downright horrible. I have no expectations that this fourth film, which once again stars Ray Ramano, Denis Leary, and John Leguizamo. In Ice Age: Continental Drift, the entire world has been broken apart at its seams. Yet, are trio is still alive. And also, there are some pirates and shit.
The time is now. Well, figuratively at least. This is a moment in the Prelude I'm sure you've all been waiting for. July 20. Or, as I'm sure a lot of you are officially calling it, The Dark Knight Rises day. It's no exaggeration to say that this is probably the most anticipated movie of the year for a huge percentage of the population, TMP included (I mean, look at all the stuff we've written about it!) And finally, on July 20, we're going to get to see the end of director Christopher Nolan's epic trilogy. I can't wait to see what Tom Hardy will do with Bane. I can't wait to see Anne Hathaway's Catwoman. I can't wait to see how Christian Bale, Michael Caine, and Gary Oldman have their respective stories end. I just can't freaking wait.
Obviously, not studio was stupid mighty enough to go head to toe with The Dark Knight Rises. Which means that we're just going to go ahead and move on to July 27. Opening then is Neighborhood Watch, a comedy starring Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill, and Vince Vaughn. Written by the Seth Rogen/Evan Goldberg duo, Neighborhood Watch is a bout a bunch of dads who team up to form a neighborhood watch, but just spend the time to goof off away from their family. Things get crazy, however, when they discover a plot to destroy the Earth via a group of evil aliens. Yeah, didn't see that last part coming, did you? Honestly, I think this premise has a lot of potential, and Rogen and Goldberg have never let us down before. I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt on this one. Also opening is another Tyler Perry movie, Marriage Counselor (which I don't care about) and the sequel of July we've all been waiting for; Step Up 4. I pray that film is in 4D, because there's nothing I would rather want in the world. If I can't smell the dancing in Step Up 4, my life will have no meaning in 2012.
Kicking off August 2012 is two sequels and a remake. Which I swear, should be a movie starring Tom Selleck and his mustache. But I digress. Of the two sequels, The Bourne Legacy is the most interesting to me. It's essentially a reboot for the Bourne franchise which, like most reboots, no one was asking for. But with the talents of Jeremy Renner and director Tony Gilroy at the helm, could The Bourne Legacy actually be good? Well, it's certainly a possibility, but we'll have to wait until we see more from the film to know for sure. Right now, we haven't seen a damn thing.
The other sequel is Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days, the third entry in this franchise (seriously, do they film these films in like 3 days?) Since I'm not a 10 year old, pre-pubescent boy, I have no interest in this film. I do, however, have an interest in the remake; Total Recall. The footage at Comic Con was the complete opposite of "impressive," but I have to give the film some credit; it certainly LOOKS different then the original Total Recall. And since we know it's not set on Mars, it seems to be doing something different too. Hopefully, the chances will make Total Recall a worthwhile endeavour. I will give the film props though; casting Bryan Cranston as the bad guy is...just great.
August 10 seems to be a time for musicals, comedies, and zombie romances. Yup...ZOMBIE ROMANCES. Director Johnathan Levine's Warm Bodies goes up there with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter as one of the strangest and most ridiculous plot descriptions of the year. Basically, it's about a zombie falling in love with a human after eating her boyfriend's brains. So yeah, it sounds like a feel good Christmas movie. The premise is certainly...something, but the first image for the film just looked way to Twilight. It's kind of sad really, because the premise alone could lead to an interesting and fun film. I still have hope however—Johnathan Levine is a great director, after all.
Also opening is Dog Fight, a.k.a Rivals. Set right before the 2012 elections, Dogs Fight is poised to make great political fodder at the very least. A comedy about two South Carolina politicians trying to run for president, Dog Fight stars the comedic duo of Will Ferrell and Zack Galifanakis. Which I'm super interested in seeing, because I've always thought that Ferrell and Galifanakis have similar comedic sensibilities. I'm sold just on those two alone (although I hope the politics won't be too heavy handed). Finally, we have Sparkle, a remake based on the 1976 musical of the same name. Starring Whitney Houston, Carmen Ejogo, and Jordin Sparks—okay, I don't really care about this film. We're moving on now.
August 17 delivers two family fans to theaters, and also a film for the parents to sneak off to. That film in particular is The Expendables 2, which features probably the biggest action stars in a cast since...well, The Expendables. And despite the unevenness and bitter disappointment of that film, I still can't help but feel a little twinge of excitement for this second installment. I want a badass, 80's action throwback as much as the next guy, but the first Expendables barely scratched that itch for me. It wasn't a complete failure, but it was far from a success. I do have hope in The Expendables 2 though because, despite all the bad qualities it might have, it still has Chuck Norris. And that in and of itself is awesome.
Now for the two family films. The first one is The Secret Life of Timothy Green, which is about a child who is planted in the ground and grows into a weird, but real, boy. You probably read that and the first thing you thought was "Huh?", right? Well "huh" indeed. It's a live action Disney movie though so, honestly, don't go expecting very much. It DOES have Joel Edgerton in it though, which is definitely a plus. Finally, we have ParaNorman opening on August 17, which looks to be a fun family flick starring the voice talents of Kodi Smith McFee, Anna Kendrick, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. I really don't understand why this film is releasing in August...wouldn't it make more sense to release the film in October?
August 24 has an action movie sandwiched between two lame sounding horror movies. The action film looks equally as lame. Titled Premium Rush, the film tells the tale of a bike messenger who gets in a deadly game of cat and mouse with a crooked cop. And the trailer looks cheesy as hell. It has a bunch of "cool" bike tricks that you might begin to think its a low rent, 80's teen comedy. And well I know its too soon to judge, the plot already feels way too ridiculous. Like, who uses a bike messenger to deliver a letter nowadays? Doesn't everyone pretty much have email?
Now for the horror movies. As you might have deduced from this Prelude, I'm not much of a horror guy. Especially these half assed, probably PG-13 horror movies. I mean, what is the point? Seriously, what is it? Here we have The Apparition, about a couple (Ashley Greene and Sebastian Stan) who are haunted by a ghost. Never seen this before, have we? Sinister, starring Ethan Hawke, sounds a little more promising. For one, its co-written by C. Robert Cargill, who many may know as "Massawrym" from Ain't it Cool. I'm interested to see how the man, a fantastic film critic, shifts his way into the world of filmmaking.
The final films of August and, in extension, the final films of Summer 2012, are par for the course in terms of final summer weekends. Which, in laymens terms, means that it's pretty damn weak. Seriously, it seems like the last weekend in summer is just a cesspool for all the Summer films that were limping through the gate. First up is 7500, a supernatural thriller about a disturbance on a plane. And that's all we know at this point. However, it is a CBS Film, a new studio that has a pretty awful track record. So I wouldn't expect very much.
And the final film releasing in Summer 2012 is, no surprise, another horror movie, The Possession. In this one, a young girl buys an "antique box" at a yard sale, and guess what? Nothing happens. She returns home and uses the box to store various nic-nacs and trinkets in. That, EXCEPT OPPOSITE. The box is cursed, she becomes possessed, and her father and his ex wife team up to save their daughter. Cute. Except, of course, for the demon part. That's not very cute.
So none of the movies above had any promotional material released thus far, so here's another TDKR one. You're welcome.
Well, that does it for Part Four of our preview. Tune in TOMORROW for Part 5, featuring such promising films as Argo, Taken 2, and more!
-Matthew
